so, if you want to start stretching your ears the first thing you are going to have to do is go out and buy yourself a taper or go to a piercing store where they will do it for you; which really seems like a waste of money to me but its up to you!
Your ears will have been pierced at either an 18 gauge or a 16gauge, so i would recommend your first stretch to be 12 gauge which is quite a reasonable size, however if you have a very low pain tolerance you could just stretch to 14gauge.
I always found my first stretch the most painful and hardest to push through, so to make it easier you should stretch right afew a warm shower or bath, massage your ears for afew minutes to increase your blood flow around your ears which will make your ears softer and make it easier to push your taper through. To make your taper slide in easier use sudocrem (not recommending it, but this is what i use and it works a treat just make sure to wash your ear after its through as sudocrem could dry or irritate your ear), or oil e.g. jojoba oil, emu oil or bio oil i actually use rescue oil which i got from poundland :L but havent had any problems with it; iv added a picture to show ya:’) and rub all over your taper and ear lobe.
Once you have the taper through, you should change your jewellery to either a plug or tunnel the same size as you just stretched too ( preferably straight after, because tapers should not be worn as jewellery). I would recommend not stretching again until atleast 2-3 weeks, i know its hard to wait but it is worth it in the long run as stretching to fast can increase scar tissue which means your ears may not heal/ close up properly later on if you want to go back to normal.
It is normal that your ears will swell up and be slightly sore for afew days after stretching so dont panic if they do like i did, your ears will be fine as long as you take good care of them and maintain them well. Also if you dont take care of your ears they will stink, reeeeally bad.
I am on a 8mm now but i rushed it alot and it swelld up is that normal
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